Searching…

In this life we‘re always searching for something.  It can be an answer to a question, which bothers us everyday. It can be happiness, harmony or comfort, if we feel a lack of it in our reality. It can be somebody or searching for ways how to be with nobody.

I know,  I love exploring a lot. So many things. Wondering from place to place, from ups to downs, downs to ups, swinging between drama and comedy.  Searching for new stories. Creating or listening them.  And also, unconsciously,  I am still searching for something to love in every person.

I was confused about how emotional and easy to attach to people I became in last two years. How fast I can be open with strangers. How deeply  I value even short friendships. I guess, I understood why. Two years ago, first time in my life, I felt in love. This feeling broke so many fears and made me to be open for people. To love them, to be able to show emotions, to hug and kiss them.

This feeling fulfilled me and put me to another chapter of my life. Although, it took time to understand that love can be in so many shapes. One form doesn‘t exist. It can be a passion or a friendship, loving yourself or experiencing  sisterhood and brotherhood.  Also, these kind of moments, when you loose your breath, after seeing something amazing, or after great concert… Even one night stand or kissing a stranger, has it‘s own shade of love.

Of course, love has it‘s own dark side. It can finish. It can be not answered. And because love is such a strong feeling, unhappy consequences can be devastating.  But suffer passes. Just it takes time and feeling supported by other people can help a lot.  To heal scarfs can take a lot of time. To lose someone who was your soul-mate or not to be able to stay with someone  who helped you so much… Not to love enough or  to understand too late that you in love with someone…

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Outcomes of these stories are very hurting. But they pass. They do. But at that moment you feel like you will suffer like this for all your life. And it‘s freaking scary.  But also, it‘s a perfect moment to stop and think. To try to understand about yourself. Not knowing how to create relationship with yourself, makes it so hard and complicated to create connection with others.

It takes so much strength  to stand up and carry on. To appreciate „what happened, it happened“ as a lesson. And to start to wonder again. For love, for friendship, for loving yourself more…  And you have to. Because, those who are not searching, will not be able to find. Love in different shapes can help you to move on. And anyway, what can be greater in this life than love?

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