I love that feeling when I am walking on empty road and I am surrounded by fields and forests. It’s so quite that the only thing interrupting silence can be wind running between branches of trees. At this moment I feel part of environment and I can hear myself. Sometimes I know answers for questions I still can not ask. So it takes time. I need to make many steps to find out, what’s going on inside me.
I started to feel that I’m lost. I have to rediscover direction, because now I don’t feel like I am fullfilling my life. It’s like floating without managing to reach any shore. Because I don’t know, where I want to be.
But I am trying, to find some signs which could help me. I am rediscovering how beautiful is Lithuania, how much I love narrow Vilnius streets and the calmness in my Garden. I am hitchhiking around, meeting nice, helpful Lithuanians who tells me about their lives. It inspires me not to stop and try to get to know this world as much as I can.
I remember people, I have met in my travels. Their lives. Their stories. Their lessons. I am trying to understand, what I have learned from them. Some of them gave me more, than they can even imagine. If I’ll meet them again, I would like to say “thank you”. For making bigger mess in my life and giving more doubts about where I am and where I want to be. It’s ok to have doubts, because just ones, who are not thinking, do not have them.
So, I am accepting this moment of my life when I feel totally messed up.
If I’ll accept normal life, it will be easier. But I am too crazy to do it and I am continue creating different reality than other’s have.